Hey yall. Im back again. Still busy as ever and during my day it seems like thoughts travel through my mind at warp speed. Well enough chit chat...here it is.
1) I know im young and there will be plenty of time for growth. And maybe, just maybe i'm thinking too far ahead. But i really truly feel as though i need to change some things about myself. For example i learned alot in the past few days; such as the fact that it is good to tell the truth but you must have some tact. Nobody wants you to sugarcoat but you don't have to be brutal either. Wow go figure; what i mean is this sounds like such a novel concept but i couldnt even put this thought together a couple of weeks ago. So i guess that shows growth. Another thing i need to learn is patience. It truly is a virtue that most people would do well with if they acquired it soon. LOL. Third of all, i really need to learn acceptance. It seems as though i have certain expectations and maybe even opinions about how things should go or how people should treat me. But in the long run, the truth is people can only be who they truly are and life is not Burger King, i cant have it my way. No matter how much i want to. Fourth, being nice seems so excruciatingly hard but i'm willing to try my hand at it again. Even towards people who dont deserve it because a friend of mines taught me that you should treat others how YOU would like to be treated and they'll look back and see what they missed out on and possibly regret it; the moral of the story is to be nice to others no matter how evil someone may have treated you b/c the next person doesn't deserve to be treated mean. So basically those are the things i need to get better at. And i know everybody has flaws and you can aspire to be perfect but in reality nobody will ever reach perfection except God himself. Thats just the way it is. But i still want to try my best to be a good person that God would be pleased with.(most of the time LOL)
2) Relationships are so hard man. But i truly am trying. I guess you really have to work to keep them alive if you dont wanna be alone. Sometimes it may seem like the better road but in reality its a sad one. On the bright side, it helps you grow when you're alone but there comes a time where being alone gets old and you want somebody by your side through thick and thin, who will never let you down. And in order for that to happen you have to open yourself up enough to be that same person for them that they can lean on when times are hard. You only get back what you put out, so maybe i need to change my way of thinking about things and what not.
3) Why do we have to look so good all the time but Some men can go around lookin like they fell off a garbage truck? I think i talked about this before. If those men would get their act together maybe i wouldnt mind lookin like i work on a runway more often LOL. However, there are Many exceptions out there. They look so good and they know it. I mean at least they know they gotta pull their weight in this competition called love LOL.
4) I really really wanna move out soon. Like hopefully before im 25. Its not like im in a rush to pay bills. I just want that indepedence and the ability to do things when i feel like it. I feel like im gettin just a lil bit too old to still have to have certain limitations i have at home. for real. If i keep on doing well in school, hopefully i can have everything i need and most of what i want and hopefully ill be able to survive on my own, god willing.
5) Im so tired of my mama always calling me. I feel like Florence in this house. I cant wait til school starts again. I love my dorm and it hurts to think that i might not be there if tuition gets too steep :-(. That place keeps me sane. I cant be home all semester. Hopefully i wont, if God is paying attention....
6)Songs i like :
mario ft sean garrett and gucci mane- break up
beyonce ft kanye west- ego rmx
drake ft trey songz- successful
mary mary- god in me
jayz ft rihanna and kanye west-run this town
7) well i gotta work tomorrow. but on the bright side, its payday and i get off before 12 LOL. I hope i get some more hours this week.
8) I really need to practice soon. I def need that scholarship.
9) Cant wait til im done this class. 2 more wks left.(4 classes to be exact)
10) Well gotta go now. be back with more next wk. Peace Joy and Love
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
update
Wow i know its been a minute, but once again a sister has been very busy and i have alot on my mind so here goes.
1)Just when it seemed i was moving in the right direction, i got a "memo" so to speak and it really made me think, is this the right way to be? And i decided that it wasnt and that i should try yet another approach. But to tell the truth, as far as growth, i believe that it is inevitable that change will occur and you will have to neglect some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I never thought about it that way but thats the reality.
2)I really wish i had all the answers in life. Like do you ever wish that you could push some magic button or open a door and all the answers to the questions that you have will be answered? Well i do. Sometimes i get so lost. But i know if i keep my eye on the prize(success), and keep the faith, i will find my way.
3)I wonder why i cant really focus. It seems as though my mind is always preoccupied. I mean i have been keeping myself pretty busy as far as work and now im retaking this class. But, did it ever seem like you have something important going on but you're just not there mentally? Like it's like my mind went on vacation(maybe that could be a clue to why i havent wrote in so long LOL ;-) )
4)Did you ever think about why people say and do the things that they do? It's really weird. When i sit and think about it, it almost seems like half this world has no substance or coherent thoughts. And its also weird how people will ask you the dumbest questions that they should already know the answer to.
5) Do you ever feel like there are people in this world who's whole objective/purpose is to annoy you to no end? Well i know that feeling very well and trust me i live it everyday. And theres no escaping it unfortunately. Its a shame to say but these people make you feel happy that you have places to be everyday. They make those places seem like paradise, even though being there isn't that fun either. LOL.
6)I'm so excited that i have one of my best friends in the world back in my life. Even though we may have been through alot, i'm always there for him and vice versa and we got a bond that nobody can break. :-)
7) On another note, i met somebody wonderful but b/c of my "attitude" i may have scared them off. Hopefully not though. Its a shame that you dont recognize a good thing just because you're stubborn. Who knows where this could end up?
8)It'll be time for school again soon. It seems like i love being there and i consider it like my home away from home now. When i have work i hate being there, but when i dont i love it and to me its way better than being at home. I dont know about anybody else but i love the freedom i have there.
9)I hope i can get my license before school starts and maybe even keep working. I might stay at work, just to keep some chump change and b/c i have less classes but it still amounts to the same when you add in the extra stuff. idk we'll see how that goes, i dont wanna overwhelm myself.
10) In other news, i cant believe ill be the big 20 in 2 months. Needless to say ill probably be the only one who's still 19 when school starts :-(. I know im exaggerating but that's what it feels like. To me 20 represents so much like the fact that i have been around for 2 decades and that im not a teen anymore....but its not as great as being the big 21 thats the real one...you can do whatever then LOL.
11) I really need to keep up with this blog(and poetry and stories) but i get such a bad case of writer's block sometimes. I just dont know what to say. But like a friend of mine said, i should just continue to write from my heart b/c in reality this is not for you. This is how i vent and express myself, and if you wanna read it be my guest but it wont be the end of the world if you dont.
12)havent seen any good movies lately. But i do have a few new favs as far shows. I really like hawthorne seeing as im studying to become a nurse. And i like tiny and toya. IDk but lately shows like that just interest me. I guess im kinda nosy LOL.
13) Music: a few of my favs
a) pleasure p: the introduction of marcus cooper( i love like every song on here...def a banga)
b) musiq: on my radio( just as good, if not better than luv and musiq, another classic in my opinion)(know i said it already but i didnt elaborate LOL)
c) beyonce: i am......sasha fierce(full of hot songs...wish it was longer though)
Thats all i can think of for now.
14)So glad im off tomorrow. But i plan on being a lil productive LOL. Hopefully i am. Well see yall next wk. Peace Joy and Love
1)Just when it seemed i was moving in the right direction, i got a "memo" so to speak and it really made me think, is this the right way to be? And i decided that it wasnt and that i should try yet another approach. But to tell the truth, as far as growth, i believe that it is inevitable that change will occur and you will have to neglect some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I never thought about it that way but thats the reality.
2)I really wish i had all the answers in life. Like do you ever wish that you could push some magic button or open a door and all the answers to the questions that you have will be answered? Well i do. Sometimes i get so lost. But i know if i keep my eye on the prize(success), and keep the faith, i will find my way.
3)I wonder why i cant really focus. It seems as though my mind is always preoccupied. I mean i have been keeping myself pretty busy as far as work and now im retaking this class. But, did it ever seem like you have something important going on but you're just not there mentally? Like it's like my mind went on vacation(maybe that could be a clue to why i havent wrote in so long LOL ;-) )
4)Did you ever think about why people say and do the things that they do? It's really weird. When i sit and think about it, it almost seems like half this world has no substance or coherent thoughts. And its also weird how people will ask you the dumbest questions that they should already know the answer to.
5) Do you ever feel like there are people in this world who's whole objective/purpose is to annoy you to no end? Well i know that feeling very well and trust me i live it everyday. And theres no escaping it unfortunately. Its a shame to say but these people make you feel happy that you have places to be everyday. They make those places seem like paradise, even though being there isn't that fun either. LOL.
6)I'm so excited that i have one of my best friends in the world back in my life. Even though we may have been through alot, i'm always there for him and vice versa and we got a bond that nobody can break. :-)
7) On another note, i met somebody wonderful but b/c of my "attitude" i may have scared them off. Hopefully not though. Its a shame that you dont recognize a good thing just because you're stubborn. Who knows where this could end up?
8)It'll be time for school again soon. It seems like i love being there and i consider it like my home away from home now. When i have work i hate being there, but when i dont i love it and to me its way better than being at home. I dont know about anybody else but i love the freedom i have there.
9)I hope i can get my license before school starts and maybe even keep working. I might stay at work, just to keep some chump change and b/c i have less classes but it still amounts to the same when you add in the extra stuff. idk we'll see how that goes, i dont wanna overwhelm myself.
10) In other news, i cant believe ill be the big 20 in 2 months. Needless to say ill probably be the only one who's still 19 when school starts :-(. I know im exaggerating but that's what it feels like. To me 20 represents so much like the fact that i have been around for 2 decades and that im not a teen anymore....but its not as great as being the big 21 thats the real one...you can do whatever then LOL.
11) I really need to keep up with this blog(and poetry and stories) but i get such a bad case of writer's block sometimes. I just dont know what to say. But like a friend of mine said, i should just continue to write from my heart b/c in reality this is not for you. This is how i vent and express myself, and if you wanna read it be my guest but it wont be the end of the world if you dont.
12)havent seen any good movies lately. But i do have a few new favs as far shows. I really like hawthorne seeing as im studying to become a nurse. And i like tiny and toya. IDk but lately shows like that just interest me. I guess im kinda nosy LOL.
13) Music: a few of my favs
a) pleasure p: the introduction of marcus cooper( i love like every song on here...def a banga)
b) musiq: on my radio( just as good, if not better than luv and musiq, another classic in my opinion)(know i said it already but i didnt elaborate LOL)
c) beyonce: i am......sasha fierce(full of hot songs...wish it was longer though)
Thats all i can think of for now.
14)So glad im off tomorrow. But i plan on being a lil productive LOL. Hopefully i am. Well see yall next wk. Peace Joy and Love
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