Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Pet peeves (Its time for me to get on my soapbox>> LOL :-] )

Time for another lovely edition of My Pet peeves: It seems like every week, shoot every day i find more and more things that irk my soul. So here they are.

1) Why must people be secretaries? This truly irks my soul. If someone has something to say why cant they say it themselves? Why must you have a messenger? Be man or woman enough to speak your mind and tell me the truth. keep it 100 with me and ill do the same with you. Point blank.

2) Why do people continue to wear shorts and flipflops when its December, it rains, it snows and its colder than a mug? I dont get it. Are they immune to the cold or they just dont care if they get sick? Which one? Whatever the reason is its still stupid put on some clothes and you wont be hacking up a lung...LMAO.

3)Why do people want you to listen to their story or problem but when you talk they go on to another topic? I mean dont even come at me like that. Be respectful to me or i have no words for you. If you listen to me, ill listen to you. I hate it when it feels like im talking to myself. thats probably b/c i am. nobody really cares about your issues. they are too caught up in their bs and they are too egocentric to take time to listen to others. Thats the main reason i say you know what forget it...ill just write...it solves the problem. i dont have to worry if it(the computer LOL) listens it(the computer) just takes it all in. LOL writing keeps me sane....

4)Why must men play games? If you know you dont care just say that so i dont get my heart trampled. Just let me know from the start : "Okay,im a bser and i dont care and i never will". then i will know to do my own thing and have a back up plan. It would save so much time and energy and prevent all the heartache. Just keep it 100 and there will be no problems. At least give me the opportunity to protect myself.

5)Why do men lie? If there is something i should know just tell me. I wont bite. I might get mad, thats expected but at least ill know and ill learn from it. Then ill be prepared the next time it happens. I cant say i didnt know. B/c lets face it its inevitable. Men lie. So once again let me get myself ready and maybe it wont hurt so bad... ya dig?

6)Why do we still have school a week before finals? This is so ridiculous. I mean how in the world do you expect me to study for your last test/quiz, do a million papers and mini projects, and still be ready for 3-4 finals in the next breath? i need time to recover. I seriously wish they would get rid of fall break, make thanksgiving break longer so you have a wk between the break and when school starts again to do all the crap and study for all the tests when you come back; then you should get the wk before finals off(the wk you come back from thanksgiving should be the last wk) that way you can really prepare instead of cramming. Its really not constructive or conducive to passing b/c you are so stressed and you have so much bs to do its not even funny.

7)Why do some teachers insist on making you stay the whole allotted time while others casually let you out early? I mean damn are you really gonna learn that much in the last 5-10 mins? They need a life.

8)Why does it seem like the night goes by too fast even when you go to bed early enough? I mean i sleep 8hrs or 5hrs and i still feel the same: i still dont feel like getting up. LOL

9) Why does the last week of school go so slowly? I really need this wk to be over. I need some serious downtime i am truly stressed to the nth degree.

10)Finally, on a funny note why does it seem like when you procrastinate you are so much more productive then when you start early? LOL i mean i had a paper due tues and actually didnt type it til 1am that morning. It took me til 3am to finish but it was good and it was pretty long.(8pgs LOL).I dont know why but it seems like im just like my dad i work well under pressure. i get lazy when i start something early. i have to be under some pressure....like its due the next day or the test is the next day to really be productive..LOL aint that crazy?

Well thats it for this week but trust and believe theres more where that came from. :-)

Lyrics Im Feeling :-0

++Beyonce: Scared of Lonely

(Different but im feeling it)

I'm in this fight, and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
It's hard, I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand, and I can barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I try to be patient, but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....

I cry at night, 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine, so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you would stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream , I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your strength when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness, I think I'm drowning
I can't be lonely no more
Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....


**Keyshia Cole: Thought you had my back

(throwback but still hot!!; and so true)

Verse 1]

Every girls got to go through it and every man has to go through it its a thing called love.
Listen to me now Listen to me.
I still remember the day that you said you was a badboy.
Man I should have listened when you said you was a bad boy.
You took control of me I thought you would change for me.
Everything different now reminiscing ain't the same boy,
How I let you come and hurt me like this boy.
This boy, I am open now I want to get away but you are forcing me to stay.

[Chorus]
Love I thought you had my back this time but man I am wrong this time.
It's a thing called
(thought you had my back)
Love I thought you had my back this time, but man I am wrong this time,.
It's a thing called Love.

I loved you for your ways but your ways hurt me bad boy.
Hurt me so bad why you want to see me sad boy, I am tired of crying over you
but I miss you so much I don't know what to do seems that I gotta move on
live life with out cha, but every time someone comes around to talk about you
I get feelings inside again I wanna be right back by your side again.

[Chorus]

Ooh ooh ooh You got me ya, ooh You got me ooh ooh, You got me ya, oooh.
And I don't know what to do. I thought you had my back I am so wrong I am so wrong.

Ya its all good though sometimes in life you know situations
come your way you just gotta make good decisions man,
You know you gotta know your focus in life and if love is your focus then man pay attention.

You got me ya. I am so stuck right here.

>>Brandy: I Tried

(another banger....and so true!!)

First Verse]
I’m sittin' home on a cold day
Underneath the covers like a little baby
Think I wanna hear some Coldplay
Especially that song when the man says

[Bridge]
'Did I drive you away?'
I know what you’ll say
Oh I know
I know all about your ways
What you do
When you’re gone
And I knew
All along
And they say people change
So I, tried to look the other way

[Chorus 2x]
I tried to be blind to your game
Deep down, I knew
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Second Verse]
All I can see is yo-ur face
Givin’ my lovin away at some woman’s place
Maybe I should get up and go wash my face
Cryin’ never kept you at home anyway

[Bridge]
Did I drive you away? (No I didn’t but you said it)
I know what you’ll say
Oh I know
I know all about your ways
What you do
When you’re gone
And I knew
All along
And they say people change
So I, tried to look the other way

[Chorus]
I tried to be blind to your game (Tried to be blind, yeah)
Deep down I knew [Deep down I knew, inside oh]
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Chorus]
I tried to be blind to your game (I tried to be blind)
Deep down I knew (but I knew it, oh oh oh oh)
Shoulda left your side in the first place
But I thought I’d be cool

[Bridge 2]
And all you spent
The calls you get
And the rooms and sh!!
And I knew
You had a b!tch
I hated it
That’s what I get

[Chorus out]

~Toni Braxton: STupid

(I LOVE Love Love this song....this made that scene in Diary of a mad black woman where she sees the newly engaged couple and then takes off her ring and finishes her drink...thats my movie...LOL; this is so true!!!)

Loving you is stupid
Cause I know that you never really loved me
And you never gave me signs Id see
That you and me were ever a possibility
And I feel so stupid
After all the noise you left me lonely to die
And you never gave me a reason why
And now Im sittin all alone and I cry

Am I stupid
I shouldve known you were only playing a game
And you and me would never be the same
You made me feel like Im the one to blame
And I feel so stupid
After all those nights after nights that I tried
And all those conversations of lies
And Im sittin here all alone and Im cryin

Im crying....

I cant believe you never knew how I felt
All this love and baby no one else
Could ever love me the way that you do
Youre all I need and you treated me so wrong
And I cant believe it
How could you do me like you do
Cause Ive been so stupid for you

Why do you do me like you do
You baby, You darlin
You baby, You darlin
You dont care
Im stupid baby, Im stupid darlin
For you

And Im the one played
And Im the one left with all the shame
Im stupid baby, Stupid darlin


+++Well thats where i am this week empowered but still somewhat docile..look out for a new blog in a sec...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My Love Language ♥

Well all of the questions didnt apply but i do agree with what they came up with.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time: 9
Physical Touch: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Receiving Gifts: 3
Acts of Service: 3

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Monday, December 8, 2008

Why?

I was so lost.
So naive.
So blind
So in love.
But now i see the reality.
But now im still in love.
But this is different.
I wanted to believe you so bad.
I wanted to love you and look past everything bad.
I wanted to be there for you.
But now its up to you.
Im subtracting myself from this equation.
You decide what you want.
I gotta do whats best for me.
I have made my decision.
I just cant believe that this is happening.
Its like the world is my enemy.
Nothing is going my way.
everything i believed in is a lie.
So now i gotta start from scratch.
I thought i was growing but now it feels like im going backwards.
I just wish you would love me and be with me or leave me alone.
Either tell me the truth or nothing at all.
ANd you wonder why i dont tell you nothing.
You dont tell me nothing but you want my life story.
This aint a one way street. You gotta meet me halfway.
It feels like im living a nightmare that never ends.
I thought you were different but i guess i thought wrong.
I should have gotten the hints...
I should have noticed the comparisons...
I should have noticed everything but i was so blind.
I love you but i dont know what to do or think anymore.
I just cant put myself through this.
It hurts too bad.
Its making me sad.
I need to be happy.
I put so much time in with you just for you to play me.
At least be man enough to tell me yourself.
Im really not feeling the secretaries...You have a mouth.
Use it and tell me how you really feel.
I try to tell you stuff now and its like whatever...
I mean whats the point?
Saying nothing worked better.
I guess you were right.
I just didnt want to believe you.
I loved you, scratch that, love you so much none of that matters.
I just want to be with you.
I only care about you.
When you want to talk and come correct, you know where to find me....
Until then i have no words for you...

What Happened?

What happened to the man i loved?
The man i thought was sent from up above.
What happened to the man that called me everyday?
The man that showed me love in every way?
What happened to the man that told me how he felt?
The man that made my heart melt.
What happened to the man that made me smile?
The man that talked on the phone for more than a while.
What happened to the man that loved me?
The man that said he doesnt know what he would do without me?
What happened to the warm, caring, man i used to know?
The man that would never let me go.
Or was all this just an illusion?
Am i just crazy?
It seems like you are so different.
Im not the same person i was before either.
But i just dont know.
Its killing me that you are not talking to me.
Loving me.
Chilling with me.
Just being with me.
I dont know what to do.
Im just so lost without you.
All i wanna know is what happened to that man?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

just some thoughts floating around in my head.....♥ :-/

Well im kinda sad. Im overworked. My head is killing me. Im sleep-deprived. Im always in my own world. Thats all i do is think about stuff. Whats due tomorrow? What do i have to start? What do i have to read for this class? Am i really in love or is it just lust? Why do i love him so much? Why cant i get him off my mind? Why do i want to cry sometimes when i think about it? Why am i so antisocial sometimes and so outspoken at other times? Why do i care about him so much but then again hate him at the same time? Is this what love really is? Is this what it does to you? Does it consume you, mind, body and spirit? Does it make you want to crawl up in a corner and cry because you miss him so much? Does it make you want to think about him and nothing else even though you have a ton of other things to do? Does it make you love him even more even when he hurts you? Do you always have to talk to him, everyday? Do you tell all your friends about him? Do you write poems about him? Do you get mad at him but you cant stay mad? Do you want him so much you cant even conceive the thought of being with somebody else? Does your blood boil knowing that he may find somebody else but you know they arent as good as you in any way, so you put up a nonchalant front? Does every conversation turn into a conversation about him? Do you feel happy as soon as he calls? Do you smile when you hear his voice? Do you count the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and maybe even weeks till you see him again? Do you constantly think about the times you have shared? Do you want him back more than anything in the world? Theres so much more i can say but i think this about sums it up. I mean what more can i say? I just wish he would forgive me and call me. I just want him to be in my life. But i cant force him to do anything, he has to make that decision, so until then i just have to learn to distract myself and be productive. But if that time never comes then ill know the reality of the situation that i thought was true love. Ill know that everything we had is gone. Ill know that its true what they say: good things dont last forever so enjoy them while you can. Ill just know. I wont have to wonder anymore. I just wish and pray and hope that im wrong. I hope he still cares, deep down inside. I hope he calls. I hope he still loves me. I hope he comes back. I hope he still wants to be in my life. I just want to hope again. I just want to believe again. I honestly lost hope and faith in love. He broke my heart when he said those words. I just want him to be the one to pick up the pieces and put it back together.

Lyrics im feeling :-)

Current mood: artistic Category: ambivalent,calm Music

+SIngle Ladies(Put A Ring On It): Beyonce
All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladiesNow put your hands up[Verse 1]Up in the club, we just broke up I'm doing my own little thing You decided to dip but now you wanna trip Cuz another brother noticed me I'm up on him, he up on me dont pay him any attention Cuz I cried my tears, for three good years Ya can't be mad at me [Chorus] Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohCuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it[Verse 2]I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans Acting up, drink in my cup I could care less what you think I need no permission, did I mention Dont pay him any attention Cuz you had your turn And now you gon learn What it really feels like to miss me [Chorus]Wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh[Bridge]Don't treat me to these things of the world I'm not that kind of girl Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve Is a man that makes me then takes me And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond Pull me into your arms Say I'm the one you own If you don't, you'll be alone And like a ghost I'll be gone All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladies (All the single ladies)All the single ladiesNow put your hands upWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohWuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh ohCuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it [repeat]Wuh uh oh
>> If This Isn't Love: Jennifer Hudson
I'm calling this fone up just keep tellin how muchI really love him cause he's everything I wantHe listens to me, cares for meSo why'd you leaving me?God sent me an angel up from aboveTo love me for lifeThings would be perfectOnly because it's the only wayI can describe and say[Chorus:]If this isn't loveSee what it is, is like I'd be dreaming and just playin crazyIf this isn't loveSee what it is, cause I never felt like this babyIf this isn't loveL-o-v-e what is (in) me?L-o-v-e Oh...If this isn't love [x2][Verse 2:]I'm selfish cause I don't wanna shareWhen nobody not even knowsPeople that came before meBut see I ever believe.God sent me an angel up from aboveTo love me for lifeThings would be perfectOnly because it's the only wayI can describe and say[Chorus:]If this isn't loveSee what it is, it's like I'd be dreaming and just playin crazy, (oh)If this isn't love (No)See what it is, cause I never felt like this babyIf this isn't loveL-o-v-e what is (in) me?L-o-v-e Oh...If this isn't love [x2]So if you got real loveLet me see you put your hands upSee you put your hands upThe kind of love that beatsWild like a clubLet me see you put your hands upSee you put your hands up, if this isn't loveCause I know I ain't crazyI know I ain't trippinI know I ain't sleepinI know that it's loveSee me with my hands upIf you think I'm dreaminI know I ain't dreaminCause this reason maybeAnd I know what is loveIf this isn't love...[Chorus: till end]
Im feeling kinda ambivalent so yeah it is what it is...:-) LOL