just some thoughts floating around in my head.....♥ :-/

Well im kinda sad. Im overworked. My head is killing me. Im sleep-deprived. Im always in my own world. Thats all i do is think about stuff. Whats due tomorrow? What do i have to start? What do i have to read for this class? Am i really in love or is it just lust? Why do i love him so much? Why cant i get him off my mind? Why do i want to cry sometimes when i think about it? Why am i so antisocial sometimes and so outspoken at other times? Why do i care about him so much but then again hate him at the same time? Is this what love really is? Is this what it does to you? Does it consume you, mind, body and spirit? Does it make you want to crawl up in a corner and cry because you miss him so much? Does it make you want to think about him and nothing else even though you have a ton of other things to do? Does it make you love him even more even when he hurts you? Do you always have to talk to him, everyday? Do you tell all your friends about him? Do you write poems about him? Do you get mad at him but you cant stay mad? Do you want him so much you cant even conceive the thought of being with somebody else? Does your blood boil knowing that he may find somebody else but you know they arent as good as you in any way, so you put up a nonchalant front? Does every conversation turn into a conversation about him? Do you feel happy as soon as he calls? Do you smile when you hear his voice? Do you count the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and maybe even weeks till you see him again? Do you constantly think about the times you have shared? Do you want him back more than anything in the world? Theres so much more i can say but i think this about sums it up. I mean what more can i say? I just wish he would forgive me and call me. I just want him to be in my life. But i cant force him to do anything, he has to make that decision, so until then i just have to learn to distract myself and be productive. But if that time never comes then ill know the reality of the situation that i thought was true love. Ill know that everything we had is gone. Ill know that its true what they say: good things dont last forever so enjoy them while you can. Ill just know. I wont have to wonder anymore. I just wish and pray and hope that im wrong. I hope he still cares, deep down inside. I hope he calls. I hope he still loves me. I hope he comes back. I hope he still wants to be in my life. I just want to hope again. I just want to believe again. I honestly lost hope and faith in love. He broke my heart when he said those words. I just want him to be the one to pick up the pieces and put it back together.