random

My head hurts.

I love him.

he is always on my mind.

He never leaves no matter what i have to do.

He is so nice.

I dont feel like doing any work.

But you know what? thats okay.

I think i do need to take a break for once.

I study too hard.
I either slack or study too much.
Theres no in between.

I hate ignorant people
I hate people who are loud for no reason.
I hate fake people.

Why cant people be real?
Sometimes i wonder if i act like that?

I hope not but if i do i know im no where near as bad as them.
Why cant people respect diversity?

Why do they have to hate because you are different.

And because you are unique and noone else is like you.

It scares them thats what i really think.
Thats why i stay to myself.

Cause i hate crazy, stupid, dumb people.

I wish more people were like me.
But that aint gon happen cause they just not on my level and truthfully some people are gonna BE who they WANT to be regardless and others will TRY to BE who they are NOT regardless. thats just life.

Anyway i love obama. He came to my school on tuesday!! i was so excited!!!
I love what he stands for.
I love his sincerity.
I love his goals plans dreams and ambitions.
I love that he is making history.
I really want him to win.
SO i will do everything i can do or at least attempt to do to reach that end.
And that starts with my vote on NOV 4th no doubt i will be there at the booth at 7am LOL for real a sista has classes to attend.

Why do i feel so lazy and frustrated sometimes?
Why do i feel so happy and energetic at other times?
Why do i sometimes feel like i could care less what others think and then sometimes i care too much?

Why do i get annoyed so easily?
Why dont i just realize that people are crazy and thats how it is?

Anyway there are some cute guys here at school. I guess im not really their type.
They want the fast and stupid and no clothes wearing model type i suppose. Well they got another thing coming if they think im on that tip. cause that aint me.

Im smart, not model pretty but still gorgeous, i wear what i feel like wearing and i stay to myself. My philosophy is if you wanna get in my world you gotta give me reason to let you in. Cause not just everybody gets that privilege. I have to know that you are sincere no matter who you are. Ive been hurt a few times so its hard to believe in people and trust anyone. Im an only child so you know i have high expectations but im not spoiled never that.

I stay to myself because its better that way. that way people cant get in your head and act like they care when they dont. or they cant take advantage of your vulnerability. They cant do you wrong cause you never let them in or gave them a chance to.

its so much better that way. i love being immersed in my thoughts. thats why sometimes i like to go home but the instant i get there i end up regretting it. i guess school gives me just enough independence but still gives me security. At home there is security but no independence. I guess im just so used to being on my own at school that its boring and useless to come home unless i need something because i just dont like it there. yet i do get the privacy that i lack at school. my own room with a nice sized bed where i can close the door and not have to worry about people coming in and out.

cause in your mind, noone can tell you you are wrong or right. noone can tease you or question you. noone can get on your nerves. noone can irk your life. noone can bother you. As long as you dont let them . LOL its just so peaceful. Now i do admit that sometimes i get so lost in my own self i isolate myself from the world. but you could say its a protective mechanism when people arent paying me any attention i just love to go into the inner recesses of my mind and just think those thoughts those thoughts that noone else can hear that noone else can criticize because they are all mines. I just love that. But sometimes i think too much and overthink things.

Just by being a virgo (sep 20 for those who dont know) i am so analytical and im so intent on being a perfectionist it sometimes works against me. But it is a good trait to have being a nursing major i suppose. which is harder than most suspect since they are all bio premed and biology and physical therapy majors. my major is a piece of cake i guess. but not to me. its still hard and sometimes it drains the life out of me.

But i know in the end it will all be worth it. Because ill have a comfortable life and ill be able to make it on my own. Ill be doing something that i love hopefully.

Anyway on another note i been sleeping on africans. i guess i realized that when i watched that movie phat girlz with my girl monique in it (she is so hilarious !!!!). It seems like they value women much more over there and they love a woman with some meat on her bones. It really is refreshing how they( at least in the movie...you must see it if you havent yet) treat their women like queens. Speaking of that a cute dude just came to my room with a fly african accent and he was so generous that he offered me halloween candy and i dont even know him. i thought that was so sweet.

Well i could say more but i think that i have said enough. There will be more like this in the future. this blog truly is becoming my sanity as well as my entertainment. I love it on here. writing is my passion so its only natural that i use it to vent. Ill be back with more thoughts soon. Thanks for reading....feel free to comment...