Im feeling some type of way....

Well...well..well. I dont know what to say. But i feel as though my back is up against the wall. I feel as though i trusted you and believed in you so much. I feel as though i love you unconditionally and regardless of what happens. I love the way you make me feel. But then again i hate when you do things that are so predictable or things that make me rethink my decisions. For instance, i said to myself. Okay he has flaws but i can look past those because i love him. I said he is cute but i know i shouldnt think that thats gonna make everything better. I know i love him but sometimes that gets in the way of my better judgement. Im just having one of those, i told you so, or i knew this was too good to be true moments. Thats why each time this happens, i build a higher and higher wall to protect myself. Thats why i act the way i do. I always think i can trust you and believe you but im never completely sure cause of stuff like this. I do know that i want an explanation and then maybe ill consider talking to you. But until then....i dont know what to say... I mean its obvious how you feel...or am i wrong? Please let me know. I mean i dont want to jump to any wrong conclusions. I mean ive tried us time and time again and each time something goes wrong. Is this a sign? Let me know..... There has to be a reasonable explanation. I wont bite. I promise ill listen because i respect you and care about you and love you enough to do that. I cant promise i wont be mad or jealous because thats inevitable considering the circumstances(well at least what i think happened, idk). Anyway thats how i feel.